CAP: research and more research

OK. First, dirty, rough, really lousy (i.e. perfect) draft of the prospectus in the books. So to speak.

Now it’s all about the research, reading secondary source after secondary source, pulling ideas and quotes I can use…. well, that and reading the prospectuses of two of my classmates so I can respond to them.

And this busy-ness is a good thing.

Found out on Friday that I didn’t get the teaching gig.

It’s a drag. No matter how I tried to spin it (preemptively), it’s still a helluva disappointment.

So what do you do when you get kicked in the teeth? You get up to get kicked again. I’m auditioning for a show tonight that I won’t get. I didn’t want to audition for it before, since I didn’t want to have risk having to work on that while putting together a new classroom. Well… Won’t need to worry about that now.

Even if I don’t get the play, it’s important that I get out there and seen by people who might cast me later (I’m now more convinced that it’s not so much who you know, but who knows you). Or I might just be preemptively spinning again.

Look. It’s either self-deception or depression.

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